What Your Blinds Say About You

by Erica A.

Window blinds can be windows to the soul. If you don’t believe it, look into the choices that your friends and neighbors have made in terms of blinds, and you may begin to see a pattern. Of course, the pattern is bound to be either vertical or horizontal, but when you read between those lines you may detect particularly revealing clues about each homeowner’s personality.

While the concept may seem opaque at first glance, once you have read through the following mini tutorial on window blind profiling, it will become clear as daylight. So roll up your eyelids, pull back the shutters of disbelief and prepare to indulge in some blind insight.

Venetian Blinds

Venetian blinds are the grandparents of modern-day mini blinds. With wider metal slats than minis, Venetian blinds tend to bend out of shape if you pull the wrong strings, and often refuse to raise or lower on the level, calling for a bit of finessing. While their name may sound exotic, conjuring up images of muscular gondoliers in striped jerseys, they are in reality as American as Arnold Schwarzenegger. With an actor’s quirks, a politician’s tendency to hedge, old-fashioned brawn and a hint of a foreign accent, Venetian blinds and the former governor of California share a lot in common.

Mini Blinds —

Once hailed by the decorating industry as a fresh new concept in window dressing, mini blinds have become the poster child of overkill. Mini blinds are
ubiquitous, sold in every variety store and squatting in every apartment window. Tired, worn-out mini blinds may fall from a decorator’s good graces, only to be replaced by new, identical blinds in an updated color, accented perhaps with a valance to disguise a dated appearance. If you had to put a face on mini blinds, Brittney Spears would be looking back at you.

Roll-up Shades

Roll-up shades have been around for just as long as Venetian blinds. These old-style, pull-down accessories feature a spring-loaded roller that seems to resist precise adjustment. Usually operating behind-the-scenes to add a room-darkening aspect in concert with draperies that, while eminently more presentable than the roller blinds, are essentially mere window-dressing, roll-up window shades operate in the background. They have their own hidden agenda. They can snap at the slightest touch and spin angrily when you least expect it. A roll-up shade is the Dick Cheney of the window-dressing world.

Honeycomb Shades

A softer silhouette with airy pockets that diffuse light, honeycomb shades are the choice of homeowners who wish to whisper good taste and suggest a sophisticated aesthetic preference. Honeycomb shades mute harsh dark and light with layers that soften and refine. Sensitive to the slightest touch, honeycomb shades add nuances that the homeowner can easily adjust to taste. New age musician Enya embodies the aesthetic behind honeycomb shades.

Wood Shutters

Wood shutters make a non-ambiguous statement whether open or closed. When flung wide, shutters invite a world of sound, color, and light to flood the room with a flurry of activity. When closed and latched, shutters proclaim a need for
privacy and quiet. People who shutter their windows tend to be all-or-nothing
types who vacillate between feast and famine, like artist Vincent Van Gogh or
Dickens’ Pip in Great Expectations.

While window blind selections seldom present a definitive character profile of
the purchaser, they do bring certain personality traits out of the shadows. Remember, however, when putting your new-found detective talents to the test,
that sometimes a person selects a blind style simply because it costs less, comes in just the right color, or fits a window with unusual dimensions.

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